Updated: Sep 10, 2019
Like many people I know, 2018 was not one of my top years.
At the start of the year I was living in London alone (my partner was living away), outside the city centre in a job I didn't enjoy, I missed my friends and family back in Scotland and was having an incredibly difficult time with my physical and mental health.
If you had told me then where I would be now I wouldn't have believed you!
The short of it is I have a chronic illness which has caused years of problems & I also have PMDD. Medication I was given made me constantly anxious and depressed - things I could normally manage were now out of control. You add on top of that general life, work & relationship stresses - I couldn't live my life like this anymore.
It was like a switch. I was alone and realised the only person who could really change my life was me.
When I say that, please don't think I don't have wonderful people in my life - I absolutely do and thank my lucky stars for them every day. But if you aren't willing to help yourself - then what can they really do?
I finally began to help and invest in myself. CBT, a personal trainer, a therapist, stopped taking the medication which was making my life hell and got the right medication. These were all huge parts of the start of my journey. However, I can honestly say the biggest shift for me has been the spiritual one. Believe me ... I almost feel a bit naff for saying it - but I cannot think of a better word. My spooky side, witchy wonga, a bit woo woo...?
I had picked up my Tarot Cards again.
It felt right, it clicked. I subscribed to a Podcast (the amazing Biddy Tarot), read more, practiced more, started shopping for crystals, setting up calming and tidy environments, figuring out what I do believe in. By the time 2019 was looming I was already feeling the change.
Before the bells rang for the New Year I sat looking through my cards and decided to choose one as my theme for the year ahead. To use as guidance, comfort, reassurance and a visual if I was ever feeling a bit lost. I chose The Star.
I was naturally drawn to The Star. Being honest I did feel lost. What was I doing with my life? What was my plan? What were my goals?
''Standing outside on a dark night, you gaze up at the stars and sense glimmers of wonder. It's not about actions or situations. It's simply about connecting to that part of you that is hopeful and serene.''
The Wild Unknown
I decided this year to let the Universe guide me and to work on myself, my reading and learning more about this amazing magical side of life. To stop worrying about all the things I have or don't have, the stage in life I should be at...just let go.
Where am I now?
It's still a bit of a surprise to myself, but I'm typing this looking out over the gorgeous view of the harbour in Hong Kong.
Is this where I expected to be - absolutely not! But when you leave it in the hands of the universe crazy things can happen.
It's a longer story going through the how, but hopefully one I can share over time.
My biggest hope, and the reason this site is now finally here, is so that I can help other people find their own Star while following mine.